I've always seen myself as a career woman. Dulu bahkan sempet sebel liat ibu-ibu yang kerjaannya nongkrong sama ibu-ibu lainnya (biasanya ibu-ibunya temen-temen sekolahnya anak atau ibu-ibu lainnya) buat arisan atau sekedar shopping bareng. Kok kayaknya bisanya ngabisin duit suami doang gitu. Padahal for many reasons, bisa aja we, mother, have to survive and earn money for our family. *knock on the wood* And that's what my own mother taught me over and over again.
So, i opted to pursue my career after i graduated from university. I've always been the obviously ambitious one, until i realized my priority has changed. I got married, and i got pregnant months after, and then i gave birth to Kaleia. After 3 months of maternity leave, i got back to work, but of course working life has never been the same anymore. I chose to still breastfed my baby eventhough i'm working, by expressing/pumping my breastmilk during work, and directly breastfed her when i'm home. Of course it changed my entire behavior at work. I needed to express/pump 2-3 times a day at work (which was obviously taking away my working hours). I also needed to go home the earliest amongst all colleagues. So, my superiors told me that i was changed. I wasn't the girl with strong determination and passion to give the best to the company anymore.
Honestly, one of the reasons to work in a state owned company, was the scholarship. I heard many talents here were granted scholarships abroad, in top 20 universities all over the world. To be honest again, that was so tempting. Unfortunately, i have just lost the opportunity by getting a very bad score in last year's performance evaluation. I thought i had only ruined my career. I just realized that i have just thrown away my first reason working here, at the same time.
But i guess that's worth it. Having a daughter like mine is beyond any kind of career and scholarships. Maybe there's plenty of other choices for career (pundi viwi for example hehe) or scholarship (i'm sure there's many of them). Allah's Plans are waay waaay greater than mine.
Honestly, one of the reasons to work in a state owned company, was the scholarship. I heard many talents here were granted scholarships abroad, in top 20 universities all over the world. To be honest again, that was so tempting. Unfortunately, i have just lost the opportunity by getting a very bad score in last year's performance evaluation. I thought i had only ruined my career. I just realized that i have just thrown away my first reason working here, at the same time.
But i guess that's worth it. Having a daughter like mine is beyond any kind of career and scholarships. Maybe there's plenty of other choices for career (pundi viwi for example hehe) or scholarship (i'm sure there's many of them). Allah's Plans are waay waaay greater than mine.
ih nindaaa sama bangett (ikut2an aja ya guee)
ReplyDeletegw baru aja failed promotion assessment trus kata bos gw karena gw kurang niat dan kurang ambisius. heuuuu.. susah yaa pilihan hidup inii..
tapi bener sih, apapun yang terjadi pasti yg terbaik yaa?? kan? ya kan? hahahaha
waaa senasib ya kita liid :) yaa bagaimanapun hidup kan memang semuanya tentang pilihan. apapun pilihannya, pasti ada konsekuensinya kan. but i guess that's all worth it kan lid.. cute and smart daughter, loving husband, a family, nikmat Tuhan manalagikah yang mau didustakan? caelaahhh hahaaa
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